


Save Me From Curious Conscience

by deathwailart



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Developing Relationship, Female Friendship, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 12:44:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathwailart/pseuds/deathwailart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard visits Miranda in her office to help take her mind off things when neither of them can sleep.  </p>
<p>Title from To Sleep by Keats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save Me From Curious Conscience

It's become something of a tradition for Perdita to make a round of the Normandy when the skeleton night crew is running, not checking in on everyone but just walking, stopping at the memorial wall to read names. When she's not in combat right now there's not much to do; if she was still with the Alliance (and she is but not in name) then she'd be filing mission reports but that's Miranda's job. So maybe it's why she ends up grabbing snacks and tea (so worth it, the look on Miranda's face when she found out she wasn't alone in her love of tea, teasing her about not doing enough background research) because she's been in Miranda's shoes before and there wasn't anyone to tell her to take a break. If people want to talk about it then let them, she's helping out someone she cares about and maybe one day that look of suspicion won't be there when she knocks the door to let Miranda decide if she really does want the company or not.  
  
Miranda has never once refused her.  
  
"She- Perdita," Miranda greets when she knocks and she hides the smile – it's the first time Miranda has corrected herself when choosing what name to call her by. "It's good to see you – is that-?"  
  
"Camomile, lavender and vanilla," she confirms with a grin, following Miranda over to the low table by the viewport. She grew up in space and it reminds her of the cabin her mother worked from, when she'd stay up late to catch her and they'd talk about her day and when she was still small enough to be carried, she'd wake up back in her own bed.  
  
"And food," Miranda wastes no time in grabbing one of the snacks from the plate. "Did you pick these up on Illium?"  
  
"Yep," Perdita grabs one too, "I've always loved these and asari know all about biotic metabolisms."  
  
"I remember the first time I found out that these were algae, the bioluminescent ones?" Perdita nods, taking a bite. "I couldn't believe it, it's so sweet."  
  
"Wish the Alliance made snacks this good."  
  
"Honestly, Cerberus isn't much better. Anything good you need to bring in yourself." They both laugh as Miranda reaches for her tea, sipping carefully. "Speaking of which – I've been meaning to ask you something."  
  
"Go for it, you can ask me anything."  
  
"Really? You never know what I'll ask, you might regret it."  
  
"With you? Never."  
  
It's the first time Perdita's ever seen Miranda blush and she makes a note to see how often she can get her to do that but for now she just hides her smile by taking a sip of her own tea, waiting for Miranda to collect herself.  
  
"It's actually about this. It's not that I don't appreciate you stopping by but I always wondered why me. I thought you'd spend more time catching up with Garrus or Tali or Joker or more time getting to know everyone else." She's doing that thing again where she looks away, trying to look detached and casual only her eyes keep drifting back to Perdita, her fingers tapping a rhythm against her cup.  
  
"I know what it's like to be in your shoes," she replies with a small shrug. "Up late making sure the report is just right, putting together notes from everyone else and the stakes weren't ever as high as they are now." It goes without saying that the level of scrutiny she was under pales in comparison to what Miranda has to measure up to. "There's not much time, I know that but you need to take a break."  
  
"That's...thank you commander."  
  
" _Perdita_."  
  
"One step at a time," Miranda retorts but she's still smiling and at last she settles back more comfortably. "So, something on your mind?"  
  
"Not really, just a lot of background buzz y'know? Just trying to take my mind off it."  
  
"By distracting me from work."  
  
"Hey, if you really wanted me gone I'm sure you'd put your biotics to good use."  
  
"Don't give me ideas."  
  
"You'd really risk damaging your hard work?"  
  
"Please, even the missions I'm not part of, I get reports on, you charge krogan and worse and don't even flinch."  
  
"Yeah, never a dull moment huh?"  
  
The look Miranda gives her makes her choke as she laughs and Miranda joins in until they're both having to dry their eyes, Miranda fanning her face.  
  
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," she manages and Perdita leans over to nudge her with a fond smile.  
  
"Stress of this job is bound to get to you."  
  
"I'm sure Doctor Chakwas has a name for what temporary bouts of insanity caused by prolonged contact with the great commander Shepard."  
  
"You might've put me together to withstand a lot physically but I've got feelings too Miranda."  
  
"Oh you'll get over it," Miranda says archly over her cup and her eyes are sparkling with mirth. It looks good on her but she doesn't want to risk ruining this moment by telling her that, not when she's still working out how to broach feeling something more than just friendship with Miranda in the first place so she just settles back to enjoy it.  "I told you before that this is the most successful operation I've been a part of and that's true but," she pauses to take a sip, "weirdly for a suicide mission with so much at stake, it's been the most enjoyable. I don't know if it's the situation or if it's you but being out here with the team you have, going to some of the places we've travelled to..."  
When she falters, Perdita can't help herself, reaching forward to squeeze her hand. "Hey, it's okay, whatever you have to say, take your time."  
  
"I'm sorry, that's not like me but helping me with that situation with Niket – if it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have Ori in my life. I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you and I know you'll say I don't have to and I should hate that Shepard but I don't. I don't know how to explain that." Frustration is beginning to creep into Miranda's voice and she hates that, hates Miranda's unknown father for doing this to her, for forcing her to only rely on herself but she puts that to one side.  
  
"Miranda it's okay, there's no rush, no pressure," she assures her and the smile Miranda gives her makes her smile too, butterflies in her stomach. "Subject change?"  
  
"Yes, thank you."  
  
Any awkwardness disappears as Perdita starts to recount what it was like growing up on a ship and how she's never actually been able to sleep properly when she's on a planet without the hum of engines and how it used to freak her out, waking up to a sky and not space. They finish their tea and the snacks and both of them are tired and Miranda ends up moving so she can sit next to Perdita when her voice starts to fade, pressed close with her head on Perdita's shoulder.  
  
"I guess it's always-" Perdita stops suddenly when Miranda is dead weight against her, relaxed, looking peaceful. She smiles, carefully brushing her hair from her face and glances back up at the viewport and the stars out there. "It's always felt like home."  
  
She should go. Wake Miranda, tell her to go to bed and sleep but all she does is move so they're both more comfortable, wrapping an arm around the other woman. Whatever happens, she can deal with it in the morning and besides, she can barely keep her own eyes open anyway.


End file.
